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Monday, December 27, 2010

Happy Holidays and I"M BACK!!!

Hi All,

So it has been a L-O-N-G time since I have posted here. I have to say that I missed it and I am excited to try and get back into it! Over the last few months I have had some big changes in life (some good and some bad) but at the end of the day my little family is healthy and happy and that is all that truly matters.
Anyways, here I am and I hope you are all having a wonderful holiday! Baby boy is now 18 months and a mix between angelic angel and holy terror! Some days I feel as though I am slowly going crazy (1,2,3,4,5,6 switch.....) One of the big life changes that I have had a very hard time adjusting to is working full time. Just last month I took a new full time job which is a great step and opportunity for my career, but requires me to be gone 5 days a week. When my son was born I took a year off and then after that year only returned to work part time so that I could be home with him more. Then last month this fabulous opportunity kind of "fell in my lap" and I would have been a fool to turn it down. So off I went to work and baby boy and I have had a very hard time adjusting. I feel torn because I love my job and look forward to going each day. But...I also dread leaving my son and feel horribly guilt that I am not there for him as much anymore. I question my decision every day and just hope that in the long term, I have made the right one.
On a good note though, my wonderful father (who was looking after my son when I worked part time) offered to help my husband and I until baby boy turned 2 (which will be in June). So he is with Grampie which makes me feel better. Once he is 2 he will start daycare and I feel that this is a better time for him. He will be that much older and I just personally felt like I wanted to keep him out of daycare for as long as I could. Of course, I also feel like they should go at some point before school to prepare them for what life will be like at school (this is my personal opinion, please no comments on how good or bad daycare is :)
So we are in the process of interviewing daycares and I have to say that it is scary. When you are trying to find the one person that will be spending more time than you with your child, well lets just say that I am terrified of making the wrong decision! Although, I think there is something to be said about "mommy" instincts. We have interviewed large daycares where he will be among up to 70 kids and we have interviewed small in home daycres where there are only a few children. Don't know what to go with. Then there is price...what price should I put on my sons care and wellbeing? Yeah, I know the right answer is "none" but lets be realistic...I can only afford so much.
So on goes the search....and on goes my son growing up too fast...and on goes me going crazy...loving being a mommy and a career woman. Yes, I would still love to be a SAHM but I wasn't blessed with wealth or good entreprenurial skills (which took me a while to realize!) so off to work I go! I will continue to remind myself that no matter what I do for a living (SAHM or working woman) my son will always love me and I will always be mommy; no one else can take that spot! Happy Holidays everyone!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Check Out Allied Moms!

Hi All,

I just wanted to send a quick note out to all moms who love the "connecting" that blogging can give. Two friends and business partners of mine have started a blog called "Allied Moms" for online Christian Moms to meet and connect! It is only about a week old, but is already having great success! So come on over and join...you can also have a chance to have your blog promoted! Visit http://www.alliedmoms.com/ or hit the button a little farther down on my blog here :) Congrats Kari and Stephanie for a great page...I look forward to being a part of this community!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

My Baby Turned One!!


So this past Monday was my monkey man's birthday! I enjoyed the day once I got through crying! Yes...I did cry, only once though...ok twice, but that was it! I just couldn't believe that my little baby was turning one. Everyone told me that the time would fly but I brushed it off as something that all parents say and now I am saying it because it is TRUE! Anyways, we had a lovely party for him with family and friends. Funny thing was that he couldn't have cared less about all the fuss over him! He just went about his day, playing with his toys and looking at books while we all analyzed him...how big he got, how strong he is, how much hair he has, how many teeth he has, his personality, so on and so on. He also had no interest in opening gifts or bothering with what anyone got him! He just wanted to play with his "old" stuff!! It's true, we really do throw these parties for us. Although, he did enjoy his first bit of cake as you can see above (yes that is blue icing and yes it stained him for about a day!)

All in all the day was a success and my little boy left his "infant" days behind him. Now we tackle walking. Something tells me that there will be a few tears for that one to!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

You Know What Makes Me Really Mad?

I am going to write this post at the risk of offending someone because although some may not agree...it is something that I feel very strongly about.
The other day I met yet another so called "full time stay at home mom." I meet a lot of these moms at my part time job since I cater to many "well off" individuals. I also say "so called" because of thier lifestyle. Now I am not judging...live your life the way you want...but please STOP calling yourselves full time moms or stay at home moms when you know that is far from the truth.
These women I meet do have children and do not work outside the home. However, they are certainly not what I consider a full time mom. Most are very financially well off...usually due to thier husbands careers. However, the women I am referring to in this post are the ones that I meet who have full time nannies. Ok, in my opinion you can not be a full time mom if you have a full time nanny doing your job for you. You are also not a full time stay at home mom when you have the nanny there so that you can spend your days shopping, getting facials, playing tennis with your girl friends and doing whatever else your little heart desires. This IS NOT my definition of a full time mom.
Alright, so maybe you are thinking that I am sounding bitter, but really that is not what this is about. Here is why women who live this lifestyle make me mad when they call themselves full time moms. A full time mom is with her children MORE than any babysitter and spends the majority of her time raising her children. She does NOT delegate these duties on a regular daily basis to a nanny. The women I described above are mothers and wives and no doubt love thier children, but lead a lifestyle where thier full time job is socializing with friends, pampering themselves and working out...and thats ok...just don't make a mockery out of the full time mom by associating yourself with that group.
This also makes me upset because there are so many moms (myself included) who would do anything or are trying to truly be stay at home full time moms. We WANT to spend our days with our children doing all the things that your nanny does with your kids, with ours. I am working on not having to work outside the home EVER, but I am blessed enough right now to be able to work only part time outside the home and spend most of my days with my son. I want nothing more than to have the opportunity to be a full fledged member of the stay at home mommies club! So please ladies, if you fall into the above mentioned group, please refrain from calling yourselves full time moms...the nanny doesn't count as "mom". Enjoy your blessed life, but know that there are some of us who are offended by your take on what a full time mom is. I don't want to shop, get facials or play tennis...I just want to be with my son everyday, all day.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Oh Winter..Why Must You Go?

It has been a while since my last post. The weather is getting nice and I don't find myself stuck inside for large amounts of time anymore! Of course time keeps passing way to fast and with summer approaching (and my sons 1st birthday)I find it funny how this brings a sense of sadness to me. Typically I detest winter. In fact if it were not for my family, I would have left this climate a very long time ago! I was meant to live somewheres where the sun shines 99% of the time and the temperature never drops below 15 degrees (or 59 degrees for those of you who go by fahrenheit). I can't stand the ice, wind and dirty snow piled up all winter. The only time I appreciate winter is on a calm evening when there is practically no wind
(almost never here in NS) and the snowflakes falling are the big, fluffy ones. This type of snowfall is beautiful, and then you wake up the next morning and the trees are drooping from the weight of the snow and everyones chimnies are pumping out smoke...it really is beautiful. However, it only last about a day and then it is back to dirty, slushy, dog pee infested snowbanks. So for anyone out there who lives where there is no snow and always thinks how amazing it would be to experience...your right...it is beautiful... for like a minute. It is highly overrated so don't feel like you're missing out on anything. The fall...now that is the most beautiful time of year, again for like a minute, but beautiful, nonetheless.
Anyways, back to my point. I hate winter. I LOVE summer. I love to garden, go to the beach, sit on my deck and read, all of which I can do in the summer...to bad ours only lasts about eight weeks (unless we get lucky and get another few out of good ol' mother nature!) This year however, I was sad to see winter go because this meant that it was time to get back to reality. You see, I have been on maternity leave since last May and it has been the absolute best time of my life! I admit, I was in a daze most of last summer (my son was born on the first day of summer!) so I missed most of it trying to breastfeed, catch up on sleep or figure out what to do with a 7 pound little human being. Once we got ourselves sorted out and relatively back to normal (although any first time mom will tell you that there is NO normal anymore!!) winter was creeping in. So my sweet boy and I spent the winter together, everyday, getting to know each other and teaching each other so much about life and love. It has been the best time of my life and I am so sad to see it go. This is the first winter in my entire adult life that I have not wanted to see the seeds of spring breaking through. It kind of reminded me of one of my favorite movies of all time, "Steel Magnolias". The love for this movie was passed on to me from my mother and although it deals with tragedy, it still has a wonderful underlying message that life is a precious gift and to never take it for granted. One of my many favorite quotes from that movie is "I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special". Well this winter was my first thirty minutes of wonderful and although I am sad to see my maternity leave and my first year with my angel gone, I am reminded that life goes on and there are many, many more amazing "thirty minutes of wonderful's" in store for us. I may not be able to spend every second of year two with him, but I am sure that he will prove once again that he can teach me as much as I can teach him. So as I begin to plan for his first birthday party with a tear in my eye, I realize that I am sad about the exit from his "infant" year into his "toddler" years. Sadness, happiness, excitment and fear about the coming years all rolled up into one! I never thought that it would be this hard to have your little ones grow up! If it is this hard now, how will I handle the years to come? This is one first time mom who never saw any of this coming! Heres to hoping that I can make it through the birthday party with no tears! (yeah right!) I know what you are thinking...it's ok...I occasionally think I am certifiably crazy too :)

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Here Is How I Spent My Mothers Day

So it has come and almost gone...the day each year that moms look forward to as the one day they don't have to lift a finger. The one day that it is ok to be completely selfish, do nothing and get praises, flowers, gifts and lots of kisses for it! How did you spend your Mothers Day? Let me tell you about mine.
About three months ago I informed my husband that all I wanted for Mothers Day was a few hours alone in the house. This being my first Mothers Day, I reminded him that I have not been alone in our home since the day before our son was born. "No problem" he replied.
Yesterday as I beam at him and say "I can't wait to have some time to myself tomorrow, I have a great book I want to start and a new toenail polish color I want to try" he gives me this look of terror and says "Did I forget to tell you that I have to work?"
Excuse Me?
So my husband had to work on Mothers Day...Great. Well you can imagine the downward spiral my mood took after that. He goes on to assure me he will be home by 4pm and plans to have a special dinner for me and la, la, la (this is where I tune out, take a deep breath and count to ten) "Alright" I say and leave the room.
This morning I wake up (my husband already off to work) and go in to get my son, who happens to be sounding like he is having the best morning of his life, and as soon as I open the door it hits me. The smell is unbearable and my child couldn't have been happier. There he was, standing in his crib smiling that huge precious smile he gives me every morning, giggling away...so happy to see me...covered in poop. Lately he has been working on learning to take his clothes off and this morning it appeared that he figured out how to get more than his pants off. Excellent start to what is supposed to be "my" day! And of course he couldn't keep the poop contained to his crib...he decided it would look nice on the surrounding walls. That was my morning.
Aside from that, we had a good morning, breakfast goes well and play time is a joy as always! Then comes time to go for our walk before lunch. As always, we take our dog who happens to be a lab/husky mix and weighs about 110 lbs. As we leave the driveway, me with the leash wrapped around my left wrist and pushing the stroller, my dog sees the neighbours cat. She hates this cat. This is the cat that taunts her all day long, prancing up and down the length of our fence in the backyard while my dog goes beserk, barking and frothing at the mouth. I can usually control her if I anticipate the lunge, unfortunatly today I did not see the cat before she did. I had to make a decision; it was the stroller with my precious cargo in it, or the dog. I had to let her go...off to get the cat...I could only wish that she didn't actually catch it. I then start walking up and down my cul-de-sac with the stroller, calling for the dog. After a half an hour she finally gives up her pursuit of the cat and decides she is ready for her walk...yeah right.
In we go, have lunch and it is nap time! I take my son upstairs to his room with a bottle and sit in the rocking chair. This is our quiet time, I love this time. No words, just him staring up at me while he drinks his bottle and me starting back, in awe at his perfection and the fact that I grew him. In the middle of my disbelief of this amazing creature I hear a thud downstairs. Ok..what was that? I knew the doors were locked so what could that possibly be? I then begin to hear scratching and the sound of crumpled paper...tinfoil maybe...
Luckily my littel guy was very close to sleep so I set him in his crib, turn on the monitor and head downstairs. Unbelievable. As I round the corner to the kitchen I find the dog immersed in a piece of tinfoil which earlier in the day housed a piece of leftover barbequed chicken. Around her lie the rest of the garbage, which she felt the need to roll in, covering herself with a mixture of day old raw meat juices, coffee grinds and the contents of the dustbuster, which I had just emptied about an hour prior to this. Apparently she was mad about not getting her walk.
By the time I cleaned the garbage up I needed a shower. Got that, then threw in a load of laundry and by that time the baby was waking up.
So we played for a bit and things were going well. I decided it was time for a diaper change. I laid him on his playmat, took off his diaper and barley got his bum wiped when he rolled over and took off on me. He is quite fast, so I got up and caught him, headed back for the mat and sat him down. Reached for the diaper and when I turned back I notice he is playing in a puddle...of his own pee. Ok...at this point I am lauging and found myself saying "Alright universe, I get it. Are you satisfied now...can you please go pick on someone else!" This day is now funny in a dark way. I change babys clothes, get on a fresh diaper, wipe up the mat all just in time for my husbands grand entrance.
In he strolls, flowers in hand and a smile on face (so proud of himself I guess). "Happy Mother Day" he says "how was your day?"
"Don't ask" I reply
"Well you can relax now, I am going to make supper for you" I should have been happy, but instead I felt like saying "RELAX!!HA! YOUR A LITTLE LATE DON"T YOU THINK?" Instead, I smiled and promtly sat on the couch, placing my feet on the stool and did not move until it was time to eat. Dinner was great and I didn't do a dish either.
So my first Mothers Day did not turn out like I planned. But now that I can sit back, write this and laugh about it I realize that it doesnt matter. I have the best thing any mother could ask for; a healthy and happy baby who lights up my life and brings me joy every day.
Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers out there reading this...I hope you had the day you were wishing for and if not...you're not alone!
Oh, one more thing. After everything was cleaned up and our son was in bed fast asleep, my husband looks at me and says "you know what I wan't for Fathers Day?" In a disbelieving tone I say "What?" (slight snicker in my voice) He says "I want to take the whole day and go fishing...thats ok, right?"
Yeah, sure (deep breath, count "one, two, three...")

Yes, this story of mine is based on true events that happened this Mothers Day. I know they are unbelieveable, but trust me, I lived them.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Who Has Time For Cleanliness?

So as I am sitting here checking my email I started thinking "I feel like I forgot to do something today?" Baby boy fed, bathed and asleep...check. Laundry started...check. Dishes done...check. Dog walked...check. Alright, then what is the problem? As I sat trying to figure out why I feel that I should do something, I notice my shirt. It's a tank top actually, blue in color and I think "I don't remember putting this shirt on today?" Then I realize, that's because I didn't put it on today; I put it on yesterday before bed, wore it to bed and here it still is, on me. I then realizes that I am not only wearing the same shirt I slept in, but haven't showered today and didn't even brush my hair. I gasp, disgusted at myself and think "did I even brush my teeth today?" Thinking...thinking...Check (thank goodness!) Well what can I say? I don't want you to get the impression that I do this sort of thing daily because I don't. In fact, I usually always find time to shower, brush my hair and change my clothes (but admittedly they are usually sweats.) However, every now and then comes a day when I am lucky enough to get a chance to pee let alone have a shower and today was one of those days! So for all you moms out there with little ones that keep you so busy everyday, I say give yourself a pat on the back because you do wonderful work. We are super-women! Now...super-woman must go shower...